


Identity

by orphan_account



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Father-Daughter Relationship, Kookseok, Lesson, M/M, McDonald's, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Platonic Relationships, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Teaching, Transgender, basically jungkook is shipped with everyone here platonically for the sake of this fic, namkook, taekook, yoonkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-11-29 18:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jungkook is a boy with major insecurities, having been sexually abused by his mom's ex-boyfriend, he tries to change himself completely just not to remember his dreadful past and his possible future. His social anxiety stops him from getting help and his skinship phobia stops him from ever finding a friend or a relationship. This new person he plays as shocks all those he still allows in his life. They don't blame him for trying to find a solution to his emotions and problems, but no one can convince the teen that isn't the right way to go, not the correct answer.Yoongi a guy who has a dream of becoming a music producer, but it came to screeching stop when he had to put a pause on his life and goals when a baby came into the picture, the dream not dead, but his love for the child only pushed him further into making that dream a reality. Until that can happen, he is stuck in his hometown of a hell hole working to get by as a single father.Yoongi and Jungkook meet at his job- McDonald's. After their fateful encounter, Yoongi teaches the younger about life and how it works and helping him cope with his past, enjoy his presence, and to anticipate the future.





	1. "If I Let You In, Please Don't Break Anything"

**Author's Note:**

> Story Contains-
> 
> -graphic scenes (of sexual molestation)
> 
> \- swearing
> 
> -angst
> 
> -possible tear jerking moments
> 
> -insecurities 
> 
> -ships (Yoonkook! Namjin!  Taekook! More!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original unrevised publishing: July 25, 2017.  
> Updated revised publishing: November 24, 2017.
> 
> I decided to go back and edit this chapter since my grammar improved and it showcases a lot in the second chapter but not at all in this one and that is un-aesthetically pleasing lmao. I fixed run-on sentences, punctuation, spelling and typos. I hope I catched all of them, if not I'll look over it some more tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

"Welcome to McDonald's, how may I take your order?" Yoongi recited the same catch phrase with the same cheerful voice he had for the past three weeks, ever since he started working this job. Most of the costumers he had were okay while others were really rude, he with all his might, restrained himself from jumping over the cash register and giving the person a piece of his harsh opinion. He reminded himself to think before his actions and he won't be the one suffering from obesity later on in life.

 

He looked down at the screen pressing random buttons on the cash register, temporarily forgetting how to access it. A 'cha-ching!' sounded making him jump back startled.

 

'found it'.

 

He turned his attention to the person in front of him, a scarf tucked around their neck, their hair rested on their shoulders, fringe parted from their eyes, their attention on the menu above him.

 

"Ma'am," he spoke up now, "whenever you are ready." Her eyes were still focused on the menu board. She turned her attention to him and gave him a smile, a bunny like smile in response.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm ready to order now." Yoongi mumbled a reassurance before clicking open his menu, looking at the female who took this as a signal to tell him what she wanted.

 

"I would like a medium drink, large fry and a big mac please and thank you," she dug into her wallet retrieving money as Yoongi finished typing it up and sending it to be prepared.

 

"You have quite an appetite for a girl." He teased studying her carefully. She noticed this and looked away putting a hand out to retrieve the receipt. Yoongi leaned in closer grabbing her by the hand, gradually sliding the paper into her it. Yoongi released it, feeling very awkward at his silly and prejudice assumptions before walking off, not giving her enough time to shout or give him a confused expression.

 

As much as he did not want to, the females food was made and he had to give it to her. Grabbing the bag from his co-worker, he walked back to his station. Placing the bag on the counter, looking everywhere but the customer. He saw her hand collect the food quickly before placing the money on the counter.

 

"You know," she began, her voice low and soft as if trying to conceal it, "you shouldn't judge a book by its cover and... be more accepting of those around you, people like me... Have every right to walk this earth, too." Before the other could utter out a sincere apology, she left, and guilt flushed over him.

 

\---

 

After a ten hour shift, Yoongi was exhausted and sighed with happiness at the scent of the two-story house filled his nostrils. He kicked off his shoes and headed towards the kitchen, which was lit by the light inside of it.

 

"Honey, I'm home!" he teased entering the room setting down his car keys on the kitchen counter turning to face the male sitting down on a chair by the kitchen island who rolled his eyes. His hands were wrapped protectively like around a  baby who was making grabby hands at the male's arrival.

 

"Bonnie," the male started, "daddy's here" Bonnie was aware of that fact, but being told it made her smile and reach more for the man across the way. Yoongi walked up to the pair and lifted the baby into his arms, welcoming gurgles greeted him along with the smell of a freshly washed baby. He rubbed noses with the child saying baby talk in reply, Bonnie smiled at the sounds of 'hi Bon Bon' or 'Daddy missed you'. After lovingly greeting her, he paid his attention back to the man who watched them what a slight smile and tired expression.

 

"Thanks so much for taking care of Bonnie, Namjoon," Yoongi beamed at the male who smiled some swatting his hand at the words.

 

"No problem, anything for you," he replied "Seokjin could have warned me he had work earlier today instead of almost making me have a heart attack." Namjoon and Yoongi laughed remembering how Namjoon was freaking out over the phone, complaining on how he almost rolled onto Bonnie in his sleep, if he had not opened his eyes, and he went on stating how he didn't have a clue to how to take care of a baby, saying that Seokjin have gone mad to leave a little human being in his possession.

 

"But you did an excellent job, though," Yoongi complemented Namjoon cocked his eyebrow. "My expectation on babies is proven false, they don't eat and sleep all day, not Bonnie. She's gonna walk anytime soon, she crawled all over the place. I was scared to even use the restroom afraid she'll fall onto something or off of something." He clenched his chest, thinking about all the close encounters Bonnie had to near death, if you count getting into the applesauce a near death encounter, to Namjoon it certainly was.

 

"Namjoon, you'll make a great dad." Yoongi patted his back and sat down beside him, jiggling his sweater sleeve in front of the girl to attempt to catch. Her eyes were fascinated by the red and black colours, but Yoongi's face seemed more intriguing to her as she reached for that instead.

 

"Thanks, but I'd rather not for the next... 200 years," Namjoon joked waving off the compliment. "How was work?" he changed the topic.

 

Yoongi face softens as Bonnie touched his nose with her cold palms, he raised his arm to lower her hand, afraid she be too curious and explore inside of it. He faced Namjoon and sighed, the memory of today never leaving his thoughts. 

 

"It was okay for the most part... I am afraid I offended someone, though, it was not purposely," he confessed and Namjoon's tired eyes wondered over the father's face. "Like how?"

 

Yoongi shrugged, "I assumed of someone's gender, they're transgender, a girl, but I only saw it as a joke." he looked into Namjoon's eyes, expecting a little disappointment to show, but he showed none. Seokjin would most definitely judge him, scold him even. But Namjoon was calm and reasonable.

 

"Did she not look believable?" Namjoon questioned pulling Bonnie into his lap hearing her whimper for him, she immediately nuzzled her head into his chest. Grabbing firmly on his white t-shirt.

 

Yoongi shook his head in disagreement, she looked very much like a girl. "It wasn't that," he corrected, "she just didn't... Look comfortable, proud of who she is, you know? A little self-conscious. I guess she was only shy."

 

Namjoon sighed, "I say don't ponder over it too much, we all make mistakes and maybe she understands now, it's not likely you'll see her again," he laughed some and Yoongi nodded.

 

"True. Three more months of this and I'm off," he implied making Namjoon frown some. 

 

"Still no changing your mind, huh?" he asked a bit gloomy. 

 

Yoongi sighed, "Namjoon, no one will be able to change my mind." He looked at Bonnie's body resting on his friend's arm, sound asleep. He guessed it was because of all her crawling around and giving Namjoon a hard time. "I have to do well for Bonnie and me, New York is our best option."

 

"You can always stay with Seokjin and me, we don't mind your company here," Namjoon told, knowing his words would do no good, but still tried anyway.

 

"As much as i love that offer," they both laughed knowing that Yoongi would aways live off of Namjoon and Seokjin during his college years. But they didn't really mind, he was their high school friend, his presence wasn't in vain he helped in any way he could as well. "I refuse to accept it, I have to make a living for myself."

 

Namjoon proceeded to pat Bonnie's back in a soothing way, he remained silent before taking in some air and speaking up again. "We'll come visit every chance we get."

 

"And you're always welcomed. But for a house warming gift, lamb skewers would be preferably wanted," they both cracked up softly not to wake the child. After that they both looked at each other and smiled, memories of the past coming into their minds. How they both felt three months was too short, and how much they'll truly miss each other when the time comes around.

 

Namjoon patted  Yoongi's back before standing, Bonnie still clinging on to him, "aish," he sneered some, "so tired, I'm gonna take Bonnie to her room then head off to mine-"

 

"Oh I can take Bonnie- you did so much for me already-"

 

Namjoon rolled his eyes, and turned on his heel, "when you finish eating, which you will do, wash the dishes, will you? And take a nice shower and head to bed, night bud." He turned around briefly, "oh, and if your still up when Seokjin comes home, tell him I ironed his uniform like I promised and it's in the jacket closet. Night," and with that Namjoon was gone. 

 

Yoongi laughed to himself, running his hand over his face, he stood and began to do as Namjoon instructed him. Seokjin didn't come home before he went off to bed, so he dismissed the last order and dragged himself off to bed, falling into his bed, his body immediately relaxing and feeling better. He sighed heavily, getting under the covers and slowly falling to sleep.

\--- 

Yoongi grabbed his jacket and Bonnie's diaper bag filled with all her other needs. She wiggled in his arms, whining about anything and everything. He took a deep groan, throwing his jacket over his shoulder and lifting Bonnie's into his left arm so he could stick his arm into the sleeve. After doing so he pushed his car keys into his pocket and rushed downstairs. Namjoon was seated at the table, dressed in his office wear sipping on his coffee. He was amused at the dad who trudged the kitchen with a baby in arm. Cutting some apples, sticking a spoon into some baby food, which were sweet potatoes and said repeatedly: "can't be late can't be late- Bonnie, it's not bad!" he pouted as he sat the baby on the counter, a spoon full of sweet potatoes held to her lips.

 

"See, Daddy will try some," he blew on the spoon before putting it in his mouth. He swallowed. "Oh wow, it doesn't taste bad, I'll actually eat it myself," he implied scooping up another spoonful and Namjoon laughed at him. Yoongi gave up feeding her the meal and gave her some applesauce instead.

 

"Yoongi," Namjoon called, "you know I have a care center in my building right? I could take Bonnie there-"

 

"It's okay," Yoongi spoke smiling at him some, "I bring Bonnie to work with me all the time, Seokjin knows this."

 

"I just don't think McDonald's is a great place for a baby to be taken care at," Namjoon knitted his eyebrows at how Seokjin could let Bonnie go to a place like that, let alone, Yoongi.

 

"She'll be fine, the old ladies love her and my boss always offers to keep her in her office and take care of her there. I promise I'll find a proper caretaker by next week, if that makes things better." He looked up at Namjoon who smiled some, sipping his coffee, deciding to listen to the male for once. He promised to get a real babysitter next week, plus his manager takes care of her really well so he could not complain.

 

Bonnie held out her arms, knowing that it was indeed time to go. Yoongi scooped her up resting her on his hip and grabbed her diaper bag from off the counter. He walked towards the garage door connected to the kitchen.

 

"See you later!" he called out, Bonnie waving, copying the motion Namjoon did, and they were off.  

 

After a fifteen minute drive to the fast food restaurant, Yoongi parked and took Bonnie from her car seat. She looked around her eyes fascinated at all the people and cars before her. She has not been to work with Yoongi since last week, so it was always new to her. As they entered, a male who was wiping down a table noticed the pair enter the cafe, he immediately left his work and ran to greet the pair, mostly Bonnie. But he was happy to see the older too.

 

"You brought her today?" the male piped up smiling really wide. Yoongi nodded quickly handing Bonnie off to the boy who was delighted to receive her, Bonnie smiled crookedly at the male poking at his chubby cheeks.

 

"Jimin are you on break?" Yoongi asked throwing off his jacket and giving it to Jimin who struggled to hold it since it was jabbed into his arms.

 

"I-i was going on break i-"

 

"Can you take care of Bonnie for your break?"  he asked, his eyes pleaded to the younger who bit his lip in thought. Knowing Bonnie being here was indeed trouble and the last time he brought her the trade-offs were ridiculous. It resulted into Seokjin having to come pick Bonnie up, he found her sleeping in the storage room and Yoongi got scolded massively. The truth is, Yoongi's manager didn't know about Bonnie, she was very strict and asking her to take care of the eleven-month-old was impossible. Yoongi didn't like throwing his daughter off onto other people, she was his responsibility, so the took her to his job but it wasn't easy, stressful even.

 

"I guess... But who would take care of her when I'm off? Hobi isn't coming today." Jimin told watching the raven haired man throw his hat on, his eyes immediately widened at the fact his close co-worker would not be in today.

 

"You're kidding!" he sucked his teeth in thought before responding, "give her to one of the ladies that walk in, they love kids. Bonnie isn't a hassle, they'll love to watch her for the majority of their meal."

 

Jimin rolled his eyes at his co-worker and his bogus suggestion, "you sure trust people easily," he laughed.

 

Yoongi shrugged, "Yeah, yeah." He brushed it off, really having to go. "Just- watch her and choose the friendliest person to give her off to-" he rushed away.

 

Jimin frantic, yelled back, "what do i say?!"

 

"Say it's your sister's daughter and she went to the restroom. Take off your uniform to make it believable! they say she looks just like her mom, they'll fall for it!" And with that he was behind the counter, clocking in.

 

Jimin puffed up his cheeks, he looked at Bonnie who stared right back at him, probably thinking the same thing.  He sighed and headed off towards the staff bathroom, he sat Bonnie down on the sink under a pile of paper towels to prevent germs. Then he took off his red and black uniform shirt to only be in his white tee shirt and put on the jacket Yoongi gave him to make himself look more like a customer before walking back out silently and went to order. 

 

"Jimin? What are you doing ordering? hi little one~" his coworker squeaked shaking her little hand.

 

"Hey Tae, I have to do a favor for a friend and it involves buying food, just give me a cheeseburger and a small kids apple juice please." He told his friend, Taehyung, who nodded his head typing in the order before sending it off to be prepared.

 

 

 

 

"It's on the house!" he smiled handing the paper bag to Jimin who took it. He thanked him before going to sit in a booth, pulling up a high chair and sitting Bonnie in it. Jimin ate his burger slowly, assisting the baby on drinking the juice so she would not choke on the straw. He checked his phone time every so often, seeing his break shortly coming to an end. Jimin tapped his foot watching the door of the cafe swing open every so often to reveal a new customer, but none fit his description of a temporary babysitter. He glanced at Yoongi who took orders, sometimes making eye contact, arguing over who to give Bonnie to through mouthing it or eyeing each other and the person of topic. 

 

Jimin looked up at the door seeing a female enter. His eyes widen at his potential babysitter, she looked around 19 years of age, middle length hair, and a blue scarf wrapped around her neck due to the cold. Jimin snapped his head towards the older male who gave a customer their money back in return. He nodded his head towards the girl and Yoongi turned to look at her, he quickly faces Jimin, shaking his head in disagreement. 

 

Jimin's break was almost up, he was desperate, she looked nice and sweet. What would Yoongi possibly have against the stranger? Standing up, Jimin ignored Yoongi's eyeballs burning a hole into his back and strolled up to the female.

 

"Excuse me?" Jimin asked stopping her in her tracks, she looked up and smiled some at him.

 

"Yes?" she spoke, her voice soft, she seemed welcoming.

 

"Um, my sister is in the restroom, and I really need to... Uh, go do something really important, so I was hoping you could watch my niece until one of us get back?" he spoke, "you just seemed really sweet I understand if you can't-"

 

"No, no. It's fine!" she insisted glancing at the child of the topic, then back at Jimin who smiled brightly. 

 

He clapped his hands together in glee, "thank you, ma'am! I will try not to be long to retrieve her!" he told the female he guided to the table. Bonnie was too busy playing with her empty juice box to notice her short time nanny.

 

"Thank you so much..." Jimin trailed off not knowing her name, she realized this and corrected him, "just call me Kookie."

 

"Ah, Kookie~ if I or my sister isn't back then Yoon-" he caught himself, "my sister's husband will come pick Bonnie up," he smiled kindly, bouncing on the heel of his shoes as if showing he really had to go.

 

Kookie beamed before seeing his urge to leave so she said a 'no problem' and sat down her book bag on the table before going to get a meal. 

 

Bonnie didn't notice Kookie's presence, as she was too busy playing with Taehyung who came by to clean a table. He would hide in the booth then suddenly pop up and yell 'boo!' making her jump but laugh at his actions. 

 

Once Jimin returned, Yoongi left his cash register and joined him as he dropped french fries into the frying oil. Jimin worked faster seeing his presence, trying to avoid eye contact, knowing the older was having an inside fit.

 

"Why would you do that?, I said no!" he whispered shouted at him. Jimin jerked back and slowly tried to form words.

 

"S-she seemed nice and she was willing so I-"

 

"That's my daughter, Jimin. Not yours," he told watching Jimin take out the cooked batch of fries and set them in a pan with the rest of the cooked hamburgers and chicken nuggets.

 

"You're doing this way out of proportion, hyung," he told back rolling his eyes, "you don't even know the girl yet you judge her-"

 

"I'm not judging her," he snapped, the assumption made him defensive, he offended Kookie yesterday unintentionally and now Jimin is saying he's doing it on purpose.

 

"Geez, calm down." Jimin mumbled, shaking salt onto the fries. He poured them into a fries cup, and pushed them off to someone else to prepare for the customer. "Listen, do you hear Bonnie complaining about Kookie? no so-" before Jimin could finish his sentence, Bonnie burst into tears, her screams echoed off the walls into the kitchen.

Yoongi moved away from Jimin and dashed to the front counter to see what was the matter. He was cursing under his breath heavily praying his manager wouldn't exit her office due to Bonnie's ruckus.

 

"Shhh," Kookie tried to comfort the whining child, scooping her into her arms but she only squirmed and kicked in response, not liking the teen one bit.

 

It took everything in Yoongi's body for him to not jump over the counter, (seeing the situation, there would be no time to exit through the door), and rush over to grab his child and soothe her back to happiness. His mind paused it's spiraling and the world slowed to its regular pace when the crying had stopped, this caused the father to do a double take at what was in front of him. Bonnie was sitting on a boy's lap playing with the buttons of his shirt as he wiped her nose, cleaning the snot from her crying. His knee bounced up and down in a rhythm as he hummed a tuned and hushed the baby.

 

"Jimin," Yoongi nudged his co-worker who turned to face him, "who's that?" he pointed to the scene before them.

 

"That's Taehyung." Jimin informed, "he is new, Bonnie seems to really like him." Jimin continued on, "he told me he was a great with children too."

 

"Taehyung? hmm I need to talk to him then after work," he mumbled to himself. He then turned his attention to Kookie who silently watched the scene as well, rubbing their arm awkwardly, his heart dropped.

 

"Hey... hyung maybe we should get back to work," Jimin suggested seeing the door to the manager's door open, turning to leave the counter and go back to the kitchen.

 

Yoongi nodded slowly but made no effort to move. Bonnie flashed in his mind and how Taehyung could get in trouble as well, he felt instantly bad.

 

"Kim Taehyung!" He heard her yell. He quickly told the next customer to state their order, to look like he was doing his job, but still listened in. "Aren't you suppose to be working- and who's child is that?" she questioned now, Yoongi swallowed hard.

 

Taehyung looked up at his manager before placing Bonnie on his hip as he stood. He glanced at Kookie who started to grab her things to exit, then he looked back at the counter where Jimin worked in the kitchen, he made eye contact with the young dad, who quickly went back to tapping on the menu screen.

 

"Oh, this is my friend's daughter, I decided to watch her until he can come to get her," he lied, looking back at Yoongi. Yoongi stared at the younger through his eyelashes, the smile on the other's face made him confused and scared at the same time.

 

"When will your friend be able to pick her up?" she asked crossing her arm's over her chest.

 

"He didn't say but it was urgent," he stared straight into Yoongi's eyes as if he was reading his soul, "and he said that if he didn't go soon, he could be in deep trouble with his boss. So I decided I could watch her for a little while, but a little is far from what he has in mind, so I think it's best if I get off my shift early and take her home. Only if you let me, and if he lets me." he voiced loudly the last sentence and Yoongi hesitantly shook his head. 

 

He had no clue who Taehyung was nor did they ever talk, but he felt like he could be trusted. He just saved his ass from being fired and now he is risking his own job for a man he didn't even know. Plus, if he let Bonnie be watched by random strangers, having Taehyung take the baby to his place didn't seem so far-fetched.

 

"Since it's your first week, Taehyung, I'll let you slide this time, you can go home." she decided after a little deep thinking, "but next time tell your friend this is a food business and not a care center, nothing will be taken from your paycheck... this time."

 

Taehyung gave her a grateful smile, thanking her politely after a bow. Watching her leave out dining area and to her office where she remained unless someone did something she didn't like. He then turned to Kookie and gave her a smile too, thanking her for watching the child. Kookie nodded lightly before excusing herself and leaving, explaining that she would miss her bus if she had not left sooner, so Taehyung let her go. It didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi that Kookie gave him a hard stare, the distatse for him never leaving. Damn, you mess up once and you're despised for eternity, but even so, the glint in her eye revealed something gloomy. Yoongi followed her eye movement as she walked out the door, her backpack sharpening her turn as if it just gave him a metaphorical middle finger and a 'fuck you' that the younger couldn't give. Taehyung then walked over to the counter to greet Yoongi who was still very flustered yet grateful none the less.

 

"Thanks, man," Yoongi said once the younger arrived at his register, "you saved my ass." He laughed lightly and Taehyung shook his head.

 

"No problem, I enjoy children more than I enjoy flipping burgers," he joked and that made Yoongi smile some, he thinks he found his designated babysitter. After a few more words exchanged, they exchanged numbers as well. After giving Taehyung Bonnie's diaper bag and her car seat, he waved them off watching them leave the fast food joint. He wished that Bonnie would behave, but he sensed that she would because he raised a sweet sugar cube, (as Seokjin would say, then take back the compliment and say he himself raised a sweet sugar cube).

 

After sending them off, he sighed heavily before bringing up the next customer and tapping in their order. The next couple of hours remained like this. Him taking orders, wiping tables and bothering Jimin when he came to the kitchen to retrieve the order that was requested.

\----

Soon his shift ended so he walked out the Mcdonalds after clocking out, he waited with Jimin for a little while seeing his mother pull up in the parking lot, Jimin waved to him before getting inside the car, Yoongi motioned the same gesture to his friend and his mother. She waved him goodbye before pulling out of the lot and into the main road where she continued to drive. He then made his way to his own black Toyota Camry, getting inside he decided to check his messages. He got one from Seokjin telling him that he and Namjoon would not be home due to their date night, he then scrolled down to see that his mother texted him, he opted to ignore her like many times before. He made it Taehyung's text from earlier today, stating where his apartment was, when he manged to punch it into his GPS, he put his phone away and buckled his seatbelt. 

 

Pulling off onto the road, the clouds opened and it started to pour, it was expected from Yoongi. He spent his day looking out the glass door to the sky that was indicating his time to leave and that it was going to rain. He put on his windshield wipers to see the road better. As he was about to turn into another road, he looked out the passenger window to see if any other cars were coming, there wasn't any and it gave him a clear view of the bus stop across from his work. Before he could turn away and continue down the road, he spotted the girl from yesterday and today. Although she was the very last person he wanted to see he was somewhat happy to see her presence. She sat on the bench, coat on her head to cover it from the rain since the roof of the bus stop wasn't doing its job, her blue scarf wrapped around her neck, covering her mouth and she hugged her backpack.

 

It didn't take long for Yoongi to turn the car in her direction, although it felt like an hour of him looking at the bus stop, noticing her and then deciding to see what was up, it was only a solid 12 seconds. He slowly pulled up to the bus stop, his engine catching her off guard. She looked into the tinted windows trying to make out his face, she tugged her backpack closer. The father pulled the window down on the passenger side and leaned forward, his seatbelt limiting how far he could go, but it was enough for the teen to hear his voice through the heavy rain.

 

"Are you alright?" he spoke up seeing that the young adult wasn't gonna speak first seeing who it was.

 

"Yes," she snapped back quickly, her wet fringe covering her eyes some, "I am fine."

 

"Are you sure, I could drop you off home-"

 

"I said I'm alright, are you deaf?" she spoke to him, his voice dialed down as he watched her turn the other way.

 

"The next bus doesn't come until tomorrow, it's 8 pm now and you have been waiting here ever since you left Mcdonalds which was at 11 am." He informed even though the girl still faced away from him "you cannot tell me you're alright, you can catch a cold."

 

Kookie faced him slowly, her eyes traced his face, then his car and then the sky before staring at him once more. "Okay..." she murmured under her breath as she stood slowly to get into the black vehicle. Yoongi unlocked the door for her as she ducked her head to get inside, she quickly placed her bag by her foot and pulled her seatbelt on. Yoongi watched her to see if she was going to get a 'thank you' in reply, but he received thick air instead. He didn't know why he expected something in return. Kookie faced the window watching the raindrops slide down the glass, she found it more interesting than talking to Yoongi.

 

"I hope you don't mind," he spoke up, turning the steering wheel in a full circle to U-turn, "but I have to pick up my daughter from a friend, I can drop you off home after then." It felt like he was speaking more to himself than to the person in the passenger seat, she didn't do or say anything, so Yoongi saw it as a whatever so he drove towards Taehyung's apartment. It didn't take long to pull up at Taehyung's house, it was rather huge, more like a pent apartment if anything. He wondered why he was working at Mcdonalds anyways. Yoongi took off his seatbelt and turned to the female.

 

"I'll be back soon," he mumbled as he got out and closed the door behind him. He looked over his shoulder once to stare at the car, the tinted windows gave him little visual of the teenager inside. After ringing the doorbell, Taehyung greeted him with Bonnie in his arms. She was happy to see the dyed blond male, wrapping her arms around his neck, though they didn't go very far. He grabbed her diaper bag and car seat from the younger who kept telling Yoongi that it wasn't a problem.

 

"Listen, if you ever need a babysitter, I'm free on the weekends on the afternoon and on Friday's," he explained ruffling Bonnie's hair gently. Yoongi took his wallet out to pay him but Taehyung resisted against it. He thanked the younger one last time before turning away and running to his car, quickly placing the car seat in nicely before putting Bonnie into it. He buckled her in before getting into the driver's seat and started up the car, backing out and hitting the road again.

 

"So where's your-" before Yoongi could get out his sentence, Bonnie started to cry, he dragged out a sigh taking this moment at a stop light to look in the backseat at the baby. Her mouth hung open and her cries grew bigger, her doe eyes stared in the direction of Kookie who only lowered more into her seat.

 

"Hey," Yoongi piped up, "Bonnie she isn't a threat, stop crying." He hushed her softly, rubbing the babies leg with his left arm as he drove with his right, but the child didn't care and kept crying. As he was going to apologize to Kookie for his daughter's misbehavior, he heard sniffles coming from beside him. He snapped his head in her direction watching Kookie wipe away her tears trying not to cry but it only smudged her eyeliner, it mixed with her salty tears like black ink as it rolled down her cheeks in a slow fashion.

 

"I'm so sorry, she doesn't usually act this way, she must be tired."

 

"She hates me," she murmured for the both of them to hear. "She fucking hates me," she mumbled louder.

 

Yoongi stared at her in confusion. He tried to focus on the road and rubbing Bonnie's leg while comforting Kookie, but it became so much for him "what?"

 

Kookie turned to face him even though his eyes remained on the road, he could see the smeared eye makeup all over her eyes and her blush blend with her now rosy cheeks. "Everyone hates me, I don't even know why I even took up your offer, you don't like me either," she said between cracks in her voice.

 

Yoongi took a split second to look at the teen, shaking his head at the assumption. "No, I don't hate you," he told her but she only scoffed at the confession. Bonnie cries got louder and cars rolling by stared straight at Yoongi, he groaned internally. Kookie grew angered and turned to face the backseat.

 

"I get it! so will you fucking stop?!" she yelled at the baby who went quiet. Kookie frightened her into silence, only her sobs and hiccups were heard now. Yoongi placed his left hand on the steering wheel now seeing that Bonnie didn't need his terrible comforting anymore, he licked his lips in an awkward and nervous state. The car grew quiet now, as the rain fell harder now as if it was shedding tears too. Kookie leaned into her seat once more, curling up into herself, not even bothering to wipe away the makeup that became ruined.

 

"I even hate myself." She spoke faintly, the words hung in the air as if it was a rhetorical question that did not need an answer because it really was self-explanatory. Yoongi did not bother asking for the younger's address anymore, he drove straight home, seeing that they all needed to freshen up and he really needed to talk with Kookie.

 ---

Yoongi managed to ride home without anymore crying since Bonnie went to sleep and Kookie only stared intently out the window. After parking his car, he got out and retrieved his daughter without a word. Knowing if he were to say 'follow me' he would get a snarky, unwanted reply in return so he just remained quiet hoping that Kookie could take a hint. Kookie remained in the car even after he locked the doors, though he met eyes with her. He kept strolling towards the front door and entered after unlocking it, making sure to keep it unlocked before continuing to march upstairs to Bonnie's room to change her diaper. He laid the now awake, and the gurgling baby on the changing table grabbing the new diaper and other supplies he would need and hummed as he began to change her.

 

Once he was scrapping the sides of the diaper, he felt a presence by the door frame but he ignored it and finished doing what he was currently doing. As he washed his hands in the bathroom, he expected her to follow or at least speak up, but she didn't she remained silent. He couldn't deal with the silence any longer and glanced at Kookie, amazed to see that she didn't bother to wipe away the now dry mascara on her cheeks or the tears still falling down or replaced the deepening frown with a smile

 

"What?" she barked not liking Yoongi's eyes on her, he turned away and picked Bonnie up placing her in her crib before turning to face her again, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

 

"I don't know..." he trailed off, fiddling with the string hanging from the crib, "you just seem so..."

 

"Different?" she finished his sentence, but he shook his head in objection.

 

"Uncomfortable," he corrected, placing himself in the rocking chair beside the crib so he could be face to face with the other.

 

She shrugged quite bluntly, sniffing as she rubbed her arm. "I mean, yeah, if you're in a stranger's house you would be, too.

 

Yoongi leaned in the chair, bringing his fingers to tap his chin, doing a once over of the teen. "No," he shook his head some more, "that's not what I mean, just you yourself look uncomfortable."

 

Kookie shrugged her shoulders lightly, leaning on the door frame more before warping her body in a self-hug, staring at the ground. She didn't see the reason as to why she was about to let her emotions out to a stranger, some man who was supposed to drive her home, but instead, she is in his home. "I just..." she began, facing the direction of the pastel pink painted walls (something Seokjin had taken upon himself without the dad's consent), "I feel like the whole world is against me. Like I am a bother to those around me... and I know I am, no matter how hard I try, I know I am still a problem. I make others uncomfortable so I'm just uncomfortable," she didn't even noticed the tears run down her face, or how Bonnie moved slightly at the raising of her voice or how Yoongi's lips deepened into a displeased frown.

 

"Hey..." he spoke up softly "don't say that no one finds you a bothersome or hates you."

 

"You don't know my life, so just stop!" she argued back, turning to look back at the walls that she discarded for a moment. "You don't know how much I've been through for years, the self-hate I have for myself, the hate others have for me. My life has been hell, I was never genuinely loved excluding for my mother. I've only been lust after, and that is the worst kind of love for someone like me." Her eyes became red and she talked more and Yoongi found his mouth dropping as she spoke more, her hiccups became more louder and Bonnie slept through it all, luckily.

 

"What are you talking about?" Yoongi muttered lowly, ready to rise from the rocking chair and envelope her into a hug, but she held her hand out to stop him. She did not want any comfort, comfort always lead to something else.

 

"Can't you see?" she choked out, Yoongi tilted his head. "I want you to do what you brought me here to do," she laughed a fake laugh that sent shivers down the older's spine. "You offered me a ride, you comforted me, you took me here, you are talking to me. You must want something, so take it!" she screamed almost and Yoongi quickly stands to cover her mouth to prevent her from waking the child.

 

"What the fuck are you saying?" he managed to grit his teeth in disgust, "I don't want anything from you that is remotely sexual, so stop that." He  shook her up a little, her eyes widened and she began to look like an overgrown raccoon. Yoongi would've smiled at the thought of it any other day, but the fact she was a mess and joking right now might throw her into a fit, he decided not to.

 

She pouted her lips some, her hair covering her face but her eyes remained visible. "Then, what do you want? Why did you bring me here?" She whispered, taken aback by how kind Yoongi's eyes seemed and how his grip didn't feel threating, but rather like it was holding her into this reality. Like it was her sanity and that she'll slip away and shatter.

 

"I..." now thinking more into it, why did Yoongi bring Kookie here? To get her out of the rain? To get Bonnie and her to stop crying? Because he was afraid she wouldn't say where she lived? That all seemed like great reasons, but he knew that wasn't why he knew exactly why but he was afraid of how she would react, any answer could just about break her. With the lick of his chapped lips and the multiple blinks of his eyes, he decided that it was best to just say it. "I wanted to... help you," he softly voiced out.

 

He expected her to push him away and storm out the room shouting how such a stupid reason that was, leaving him dumbfounded and stupid like he always was. But she stayed in place and her mouth moved to question him again. "How would you help me?" she fed into his reasoning as if she knew she needed saving, cause she did. She was just curious of how he out of all that tried would 'help her.'

 

Yoongi smiled as he let her go slowly, removing his hands from her shoulders, balancing her before moving to the changing table. Grabbing three baby wipes before moving across the hallway momentarily, opening and closing of draws were heard before he returned with some clothes,. He grabbed Kookie's hands, placing them out and dropping the clothes and baby wipes on top of the attire. Kookie looked up at him surprised a bit, but the smile playing at the young father's lips seemed like enough for her to enter the bedroom suite and closed the door behind her.

 

As he waited, Yoongi sat on the rocking chair after he retrieved Bonnie who was rubbing at her eyes, bouncing on his lap since it was a way to relax her after a small nap. He breathed in and out slowly, not knowing what to expect after having sent Kookie into the bathroom, waiting for the other to finish. He passed the time by by dressing Bonnie in lighter wear now that they were in the house.  As he pulled her skirt up over her leotard, he heard the door of the bathroom squeak open. He gave it a slight look before turning back to help the baby put her other leg through but he quickly did a double take, his mouth dropping at the complete transformation the teen just stood upon him.

 

Kookie's long black hair was now gone and replaced with a short, bowl cut look, the fringe longer than the back as if it was in need of a cut. The makeup that was once on (more like running down) Kookie's face was now wiped off, skin tan and clean of anything but the occasional puberty scar or a pimple. Kookie's attire was more boyish, dressed in Yoongi's dark joggers and gray hoodie, the black studs still remained in both ears, but that was less of a worry for either of them. Saying Kookie looked better was an understatement, in Yoongi's eyes, if you just witnessed the runny makeup or broken choked up sentences even the long, cozy looking scarf, you would say after this full 180, Kookie was very  _handsome._

 

Clearing his throat to rid the shock he just felt, Yoongi picked up Bonnie, placing her on his hip and he turned to stare at Kookie.  _H_ _e_ was having difficulty knowing where to place his hands, so he settles on his side, no matter how stiff and discomforting he looks or, well, is. 

 

"Let's try this again," Yoongi mumbled under his breath, not giving the teen enough time to catch on before placing the baby in his arms. Kookie was ready to feel the squirming or the yelling of protest from the small being but that never came. Instead, he felt a pull at his fringe sending his head lightly moving forward and gurgling noises. Kookie opened his eyes to see a smiling baby looking up at him and that made him smile slightly too, a pang in his heart made him feel happier all of a sudden, Bonnie made him feel giddier.

 

Yoongi smirked as he leaned against the crib, watching Bonnie twist the boy's nose gently, intrigued with it.

 

"Did you know babies can feel things?" he spoke up catching the younger's attention, he responded with shaking his head some. This fact never seemed to cross his mind at all. Yoongi shrugged a bit, running his hand through his bleached hair. "Well, they can feel happiness and sadness, when things are safe or dangerous, they can also sense when things are as they should be, what they're supposed to be." He walked up to the now best of friends, Bonnie reached for her dad, leaving Kookie arms still imprinted with her embrace and a bit upset. "You sir, can be many things," he continued on, glancing the boy in the eyes, "but who you were then is just not who you are supposed to be at all."

 

Kookie looked down at his feet, his socks seemed rather entertaining all of a sudden. 

 

"Then..." he rubbed at his eyes before speaking more, "who am I suppose to be?".

 

Yoongi laughed a little, startling the teen to look up, "that's for you to find out," he walked past him heading for the staircase, "and for me to help you figure out, are you hungry?" He called out the last bit, Kookie tilted his head. Confused at how he dad could change topics so quickly, like Kookie just didn't accuse him of wanting sex twenty minutes ago or that he went from a she fifteen minutes after. His growling stomach told him to not complain and to follow the man and baby down the stairs calling out with an: "I guess so..."

  

 


	2. "I Miss The Shoulder Of Knowing Nothing Else"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi begins The Healing Stage and Jungkook starts to want things he wouldn't dream of reaching for a week ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, it's been 3 months! Yikes! School started a couple of days after I posted the first chapter so I was really busy plus I had other difficulties that will be explained within the chapter haha.

_After laying in bed for unknown hours, he listened to the air vents whoosh as they blown fresh, cool air into the rooms in the house. His breath exhales slowly while he stared into the dark room, his voice still hitching, telling himself it was all over for now, that he was safe. Slowly, he raised his midnight blue blankets to his chest, the warmth of it quickly comforting him but also making him want to cry from the smell of it. Its scent was strong and masculine mixed with his own soft and detergent-like scent, together they smelled of hot bodily fluids. He dug his face inside of it, wanting to isolate himself as much as he could, he always did this after these nights, he would lie there completely numb. Sometimes his body would ache horribly, sometimes his throat would be sore and swollen and then there were the good days or at least the days he could tolerate where his body felt alright and his throat was okay and he could just skip to the third part because **he** wasn't there, and he would cry._

_As he felt the tears run down his cheeks, so did the eruption of shouts coming from down the stairs. He bolted up, wincing as his bottom cramped up from the sudden movement but quickly disappeared. He listened closely from his bed up against the wall, the yells sounded louder but dialed down as right when he decided to step onto the hardwood flooring and see what was going on. He stood in the doorway, holding the knob, startled when the front door slammed shut. It remained silent. Despite his bones shaking and his back from all the arching was aching, he made his way down the stairs and opted on following the kitchen's light. Stepping lightly on the cold chocolate wood, he finally made it onto the soft, cream carpet and padded slowly to the kitchen, the smell of brewed coffee catching his attention, it was strange for him since it was only 12:04 at midnight and the usual coffee making began at 10:14 in the morning on the weekdays. Ignoring the sudden change, his heart beat speed up as he slowed his steps deciding that taking his time and being cautious was best. As he cornered the passage way, he peeked his head to see who was there and he breathed out relieved. It was his mother and she was sitting at the kitchen island looking over work papers. Her glasses on the bridge of her nose and the coffee he could smell from a hall away._

_Feeling like the close was clear, he leaned more onto the door frame and stared at her softly, her hand was over her forehead as she focused on the words on the papers in front of her, her expression showed she was somewhere else, she looked hurt, to say the least._

_"Ma?" he voiced, quickly gaining her undivided attention and the frown that her lips were wearing grew into an instant toothy smile and that made the son's heart pained._

_She placed her black balled pen down and tilted her head "hey dear, did I wake you?" she whispered almost like the boy's ears were sensitive to full bloom voice volume, at this time of night, he certainly was._

_He entered more into the kitchen, looking around some as he nodded his head, not wanting to let his mother's question go unanswered. As he looked around, it was still the same, just felt more... safe. He then stared at his mother who looked curiously back at him. He hugs the wall once more and his lips drew a thin line. He gulped. "Is he..." he trailed off a bit, biting his lip not wanting to ask, but he needed to ask, "is he gone?" he whispered now, like if he were to speak up he'll come around the corner with that crooked smile while saying 'you're up later than usual' while wrapping his skinny, long arms around his mother's shoulder._

_His mother sighed softly and placed her arms onto the island top "yeah, sweetie," she confirmed, "and he won't be coming back". His heart started to pump faster and his breaths started to slow and pick up at a normal pace, and his eyes began to sting with oncoming tears filled with various emotions. His mother had noticed._

_"Sweetie, why are you crying?" she questioned the teen, rising from her chair before walking to place her body against the edge of the island, folding her arms on her chest as she smiled some, a laugh mixed with her words. "I know you loved him, but I didn't know you loved him that much-" but the teenager wasn't grasping all the words, it's like they subconsciously were drowned out with his own thoughts. He was relieved that he was gone, he was so relieved that he didn't notice that his tears were now more than visible so were his sobs and his hands covering his face. He hadn't heard his mothers cries of "hey, what's wrong?" or "baby, speak to me." shit, he hadn't even realized he broke._

_"Ma!," he said through his heaving breaths as he felt her come closer, gripping his cheeks, he held them closer, stroking his face with their softness. He missed her even though she was always here, she just felt so far away since he was always hiding in his dark, lonely, scary bedroom. "Ma, please don't hate me..." he mumbled out "don't hate me, please." he begged._

_His mother softly wiped his tears staring up at his reddening face, coming closer even if his eyes were tightly closed and he was continuously shaking his face making it hard for her to wipe away the salty small oceans. "Why would I hate you?" she spoke back this time, forcing him to keep his face in front of her's as he opened his eyes, they were bloody red and now that pained her heart._

_"Don't hate me," his voice hitched. His crying hardened and his mind was telling him 'he's gone, he can't hurt you, tell her.' The other half was going 'don't say anything, she'll hate you, she won't love you anymore and you'll have no one,' but then he realized that opposing side of his brain sounded like his mom's now ex-boyfriend. But for some reason, he thought that the side of him pleading for him to tell her, had a softer, kinder and safer voice. Like it wanted what was best for him and the worst all at the same time, he opted with that side, and with one big take of breath, he told her everything._

_He told her of the time her ex would enter his room at nights when he was under the sheets pretending to be asleep praying he'll give up and go away or when he would be at his desk doing homework and the man's arms would slither onto his waist. He told of how her ex would make him touch him in places he really didn't want to or how the man's hand would find its way into his pants almost instantly and quickly makes its way past his boxers. He told her of all the times he would grasp his bed sheets with sheer pain or how he would be demanded to get on his knees and, 'make daddy feel good'. He told her of all the times when he would refuse and how the man would get angry and slap him across his face before pushing him down on the bed and making the pain intentionally horrid. He told her of the times where she would be gone and it'll just be them two, how he locked his bedroom door and put his rolling chair underneath the metal knob before hiding underneath the blankets hoping the banging on his bed room door would fucking give up and go away already, sometimes they did. On good days. Lastly, he told her how all of this had been going on since they were dating, at first it just going to sports games or playing catch in the backyard, then as he grew it older and he moved in it turned from goodnight kisses on the cheek to straight on his lips, or multiple all around his face and down his neck. All of this happening when he was sober, even if he was drunk, he knew what he was doing. This was his life since he was 15, he's 17 now. it's been three years._

_He watched terrified as he talked animatedly about this and his mother's soft, concerned face twisted into a look of disgust, her grip on his cheeks loosening. He stopped finally and breathed in just to breathed out in loud sobs as he closed his eyes and expected something negative to come his way. He watched a movie once where a girl was molested by her father and had his children. The mother always blamed her for him leaving, abusing her and just treating her horrible for it. He expected his mother to maybe do the same, and blame him for the man leaving her, to push him back onto the ground and hit him repeatedly as she threw profanities at him and he would lay there and take it, 'cause he would deserve it. What he didn't expect though, was for her to let go of his cheeks just to pull him in by his waist and wrap her arms tight around him and stroke his hair softly. He didn't expect for her to say: "Jungkook, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me?" while rocking him back and forth as he laid his head on her chest, mumbling, "please don't hate me," although it was evident his mother still loved him and didn't blame him. He wished now he told sooner but the fear of her hating him and the man's empty threat pushed him into silence, he wished he didn't let himself suffer for so long._

_His mother wiped his tears for a bit more, frantically saying how she had to make calls but not wanting to leave Jungkook broken as he is, not even if it was a couple of seconds but that wouldn't make up for the years of leaving a broken Jungkook to fend for himself. So she just grabbed her iPhone before bringing the boy to sit on the island stools while she pressed the digits '911' on the caller app. He put his head on her shoulder, he stopped crying and was now just sniffling as he listened into his mother's calls. He couldn't believe it was all over now, did he mention that he was relieved?_

_"Hello? Yes, I would like to report a sexual assault, no it wasn't me who was but my son..." Jungkook zoned out by then, his mother's finger circled shapes on his back as he closed his eyes. He heard his mother mumble, "I need to tell your father, as well," before placing the phone to her ear again as she was connected to another line. His started to drift off to sleep, now all his crying and confessing made him exhausted the last thing he heard was his mothers angered voiced while she muttered: "that bastard won't get away with this," under her breath._

\---

Jungkook and Yoongi sat at the kitchen table with bowls filled with Seokjin's leftovers (chicken and rice with black beans) in front of them, Yoongi didn't really touch his but he was shocked to see Jungkook devour his, chewing sounds echoed off the walls of the void space, he smiled unnoticeably at the teenager. _Jungkook? He looks like a Jungkook, actually..._ he thought to himself for a little although he's never met a Jungkook, he just felt he looked like a Jungkook. He cleared his throat for the third time during the meal, Jungkook not bothering to look up two of those times thinking maybe it was just a habit of his, and it was. Bonnie's happy squeals filled their ears as she sat in her highchair, her fingers sticky with honey cheerios, eating some then decorating her fingers with them, if it wasn't for her there, it would be a rather awkward meal.

"When's the last time you ate?" Yoongi joked catching the youngers attention and he glanced at him, his cheeks filled with rice, he swallowed it before answering the father.

"Since yesterday night," he answered softly, wiping his mouth with the hoodie sleeve. Yoongi watched him with so much interest, he really liked this kid and felt he deserved so much more than what life has given him. Jungkook told him of his past and it was kind of the cause of the silence, not that Yoongi couldn't respond it was just Jungkook's response of 'you don't have to feel sorry for me, I get enough of that as it is,' and if Yoongi was to say something, it'll be between the lines of giving him pity and feeling sorry for the younger. So he thought it was best to just nod and put on his best 'you'll get through it, that's why I'm here' face. It seemed Jungkook knew that face and nodded, understanding but doubting.

"It's almost midnight," Yoongi informs looking at the time on his phone, moving to collect Bonnie from her highchair, her sticky honey fingers reaching for him as he approached. He placed her on his hip and turned to face Jungkook who was nearly done cleaning his plate, a piece of meat hanging from his bottom lip as he quickly went to lick it up. "Do you want to, like, stay over?" he questioned with a shrugged, although dropping him home wouldn't be a problem either.

Jungkook looked down now at his clean plate "I need to ask my mom," he explained first before digging into the joggers for his iPhone. Yoongi finished cleaning Bonnie's hands so he sat down across from the younger. He rose his eyebrow in question watching Jungkook raise his smartphone to the sky as he held up a peace sign and a small smile he decided he liked best on him rather than the straight line he wore all the time.

"What's that for?" Yoongi asked in amusement and Jungkook placed his phone back on his lap before shrugging at the question.

"My mom just wants to make sure I'm safe."

"Oh wow, she sure is protective," Yoongi laughed lightly as he bopped Bonnie's nose making her laugh at the slight tickle,

Jungkook frowned some, "I mean, she kinda has her reasons."

"Yeah," Yoongi mumbled lowly, "I guess you are right."

Jungkook blushed some after unlocking his phone, Yoongi gained interest in what his mother had texted him. "What did she say?" he inquired watching Jungkook clear his throat so his voice wouldn't crack or become shaky when giving his answer.

"She said I... looked really handsome," he rushed out and looked everywhere but the older male, scratching the back of his nap awkwardly, he didn't even notice the smile that crept onto Yoongi's lips and the small 'awe' that escapes them, it's lucky he hadn't or he'll be more of a blushing mess.

"Well, I guess I could show you the guest bedroom now," Yoongi suggested pushing in his chair back into the table as he stood up, Jungkook following suite as well. He had to admit, he felt really tired, today was long and awful and he just wanted to lay down and sleep. Yoongi carried Bonnie up the steps first while Jungkook rounded the corner, staring at the living room as they went by, now having to look around. The house was rather huge, the living room taking up a big portion of the home, but it wasn't the pricey furniture or the clean beige carpet that caught his interest as he climbs the steps, it was the pictures that lined the walls. There were picture frames of different kinds, yet they still fit the home's main colour, brown and white. The frames were filled with pictures of two men Jungkook hasn't met, they were hugging closely, smiling wide and sweetly at the camera. Others were pictures of Yoongi and Bonnie, mostly Bonnie's baby pictures and Yoongi's photos looked like he aged a year or two compared to now, except for the three pictures framing the wall above the flat-screen tv, it looked really recent since Yoongi's hair was blonde like it is now and Bonnie didn't seem to age much since the pictures were taken, he held her in his lap as they both smiled for the camera. Jungkook suddenly felt warm inside, the photos gave him a feeling of home, genuine love, and it kind of hurt at the same time.

By the time Jungkook made it up the steps, Yoongi was turning the corner into a different hall, he sped walked to catch up. Yoongi flicked on a near by hallway light before twisting the doorknob to their right open. Jungkook adjusted his eyes to the room as Yoongi turned the lights on, he stared around in awe. The room was equally as big as Bonnie's, the bed sat in the middle of the room, black and white bed sheets decorating it, the large fluffy mat under his feet was soft and warm, the hard wood flooring underneath barely peeking through and the windows sat on the left side of the room, a black wooden dresser separating the windows, the blinds pulled down and closed. Two lamp shades sat on top of the nightstands on either side of the bed, the room's temperature was cool and warm, his yearning to sleep only grew wider.

"You can sleep here for tonight, do you want to take a shower?" Yoongi questioned leaning on the door's frame, watching the younger sit at the edge of the bed.

"No, thank you, I'm fine." He rejected the offer, he didn't want Yoongi thinking he actually enjoyed his company and was warming up to him. He came here, he changed, he ate, and now he was going to sleep. All those things were given to him, and it felt like he was overdoing his stay. Yoongi seemed to look over the younger boys rejection, shrugging in return.

"Okay, just if you feel like it in the morning come knock at my door, it's right across the hall from Bonnie's. I can lend you some clothes and stuff," he assured Jungkook and the teen nodded coherently, not quite sure if he'll take him up on that offer. Bonnie already fell asleep again, this time for the rest of the night and Yoongi let out a yawn before nodding at the younger boy "okay, good night, kid."

"Night." Jungkook softly replied staring at the father while he exited the room, closing the bedroom door as he stepped out. When it was completely shut Jungkook let out a loud sigh he hadn't know he was holding for so long, falling backward onto the comforters, he unzipped his jacket feeling like he was heating up. He pulled it off before throwing it across the room onto the desk left of him.Jungkook crawled under his blankets, feeling cold now, leaving the sweats and white tee shirt he had on be, he dug his head into the pillows. Sniffing in it's scent, it was different and foregin scent to him. Though, it was enough to lure into the best sleep he had in a long, long time.

_[A/N: The upcoming parts are now just me, it's always been me, but without grammarly to correct my mistakes. Please bear with me, I will try to proofread as I go along, but there may be missed incorrections. Also why this chapter was being so long to publish to the book, I was too scared to type manually, I suck.]_

__

Jungkook has usually woken up on his own accord, due to being homeschooled by a online educational chatroom, there was no need for him to wake any earlier than 12 o'clock. The sun had other plans, though, as it rose into the pastel blue sky dotted with white transparent clouds. It gave no signs of dimming down even when the teenager covered his face with the duvet, too lazy to turn on his side. He gave up eventually and gave the star the win because he couldn't possibly fall back to sleep with the light shining through the curtains and the sudden reminder he wasn't home, in his own bed, sleeping in for hell of it.

Jungkook sat up instantly, patting the sheets around him in search for his phone. He found it at the edge of the bed, tangled in the heaps of blankets there for decoration but Jungkook didn't bother to take them off. After getting the iPhone 6s out of the silk, he traced his thumb on its slightly scratched edge before pressing the power button to see the lockscreen.

**36%. 10:27 AM.**

Jungkook threw the device in between his thighs, ruffling his dark, matted hair. He sighed deeply into the chilling silence, shuddering in response. He needed warmth and going back under the blankets wasn't an option since he was no longer sleepy. He needed a shower. That made the teenager shudder even more.

He needed a shower and in order to do so he would need a towel, a change of clothes and the nearest direction to the nearest bathroom, because unlike Bonnie's bedroom, there was no bathroom inside of this room. He needed all those things but he wasn't so sure he was up to the only way he could get it: talking to Yoongi.

He glanced up at the ceiling, contemplating this. After a solid 5 minutes of sorting out the pros and cons, he got an answer. Pro; if he didn't ask the older male, he could continue being independent and show Yoongi he wasn't as hopeless as he seemed. Not that Yoongi thought this. Or con; keep himself isolated and independent but look and smell unpresentable which he did not want because there were two other people besides the father and baby living in this house and he didn't want to make a horrible first impression and he was also pretty sure babies were sensitive to smell. So with both those thoughts in mind, he build himself up to climb out of the bed, storing his phone in his joggers, and opening the bedroom door before he could change his mind.

He stood outside the room staring warily down the hall before he stepped forward. He passed Bonnie's room, the door was ajar so he peeked in. The room was empty, she must have been a early riser so he stood back and went across the hall, facing Yoongi's pale white bedroom door. He knocked. Jungkook softly bounced on his heels as he waited, he heard brief motion behind the door. A bed creaking, floor board squeaking and then the door knob rattling.

He looked up the instant he saw the Yoongi's socked feet in the entrance way. His hair was shaggy and sticking up everywhere, his eyes squinting as he stared at the teenager but it only lasted momentarily because he ran his fingers through his bleached locks and it instantly fell over his eyes in one swift motion. Then he opened his almond shaped eyes wider after adjusting to the dimmed hallway lights. A smile quirked onto his lips and all of a sudden he looked like didn't just wake up and instantly ready to start his day. It threw the younger male off so much that he had to be snapped back into reality with Yoongi's deep, groggy chuckle.

"S-sorry um," Jungkook stuttered unintentionally, that made Yoongi nod amusingly in acceptance of his apology before shifting his weight to his left leg, patiently waiting for the young adult to continue. Jungkook fiddled with his fingers, afraid to make eye contact, Yoongi's features were too soft and gentle, he was sure he was going to slip up again.

"I want to take a shower, but I don't know..."

Yoongi opened his door wider now, already knowing what Jungkook was going to ask. He motioned for him to follow behind him, so he did. He reluctantly padded into the bedroom, the floor sending shivers from his feet to his toes. The room was dark inside, the sun seemed to like the father more than Jungkook, or maybe it was because his room was decorated with midnight colours so no light could pass it. Yoongi walked to his nearest night stand and picked up a set of attire and a towel on top of it. He spun back in Jungkook's direction before placing the new clothes in his arms. It confused Jungkook on how prepared he was, Jungkook didn't even have to finish the pitiful stuttering he called a sentence. It was like Yoongi knew that he was going to go back on his word.

"Thank you," he replied lowly and the young father smiled in response.

"Don't mention it, you can use my bathroom," he pointed to its door and Jungkook shyly headed off in that direction.

Once he entered the bathroom, he swiftly locked the door, it was just something he did so religiously nowadays that he didn't even notice. He stared into the mirror, eying his reflection. Tired eyes, swollen lips, dry skin, rough hair and every other flaw he could so easily point out. There was one thing he couldn't deny that he seem to tolerate about himself, though. It was his smile. He lifted his lips to make his teeth visible some. They weren't straight, he even had a slight over bite, but he always looked happy. He seemed okay when he smiled, and that's all he ever wanted to be. Happy and okay.

Wiping the momentary daze away, he began to lift the t-shirt over his head to reveal his pale stomach. He didn't bother to continue to look at his reflection now, he didn't want to see the thinness of him or the ribs he felt practically poking at him as he bent down to remove the rest of his attire. He didn't waste any of his time, hopping in the shower and immediately twisting the water faucet. He let the warm water run over him as he scrubbed at his skin with the rag he found underneath the underwear Yoongi supplied him with. After 3 minutes of rubbing his skin in soap, he grabbed the shampoo left of him and popped it open, squeezing some into his palm then running the slimy substance into his hair. It quickly started to smell of kiwi and watermelon and it easily reminded him of Yoongi whenever he ruffled at his hair to make it fall wherever on his head, the gesture blowing it's wind to Jungkook's nostrils, the scent lingering until it disappeared as quick as it came.

Jungkook's grabbed at the towel placed on the rack, wrapping it around his waist. He dried off as best as possible before putting on his boxers and gray socks. He wiped at his hair more, it started to frizz and look fuller, no longer oily and flat, it fell over his eyes more now, he reminded himself to get a hair cut, though he was pretty sure his mother would make him anyways. He slipped a dark blue hood over his wife beater then slipped on a pair of dark skinny jeans ripped at the knees. He stared into the mirror one more time, the clothes fit well, maybe even a bit loose. He collected his clothes and phone, unlocking the door to exit.

He glanced about the room and seen that the young father was no longer in the room. He bit at his lip, his anxiety now coming to play. He placed the dirty clothes in the clothes hamper he saw Yoongi throw his other clothes in last night. Walking out the room, Jungkook smelled something sweet coming from down the staircase along with distant voices and a kids show theme song. He gradually inched towards it, ignoring the churn of his stomach as he stepped down each step. The hallway towards the kitchen made his stomach flip now, he didn't want to cower and turn back to distance himself in the guest bedroom, so he swallowed hard and continued forward past the living room.

"Yoongi!" a voice snapped and Jungkook jumped back slightly "will you stop eating my batter? I need it for my cookies- Bonnie don't you dare lick that off his finger! Why would even consider feeding her raw cookie dough?!" a male voice piped and Jungkook couldn't help but chuckle lightly at how silly Yoongi was. He didn't think his laugh would be heard though because the kitchen went silent with exceptions of Bonnie because she was making noises as if to tell him to come closer, so he did.

Yoongi smiled at him brightly and Bonnie reached for him in her highchair, cereal forgotten.

"Hi there," a voice from behind him piped and he twisted around. Bowing his head on instinct. The figure stared in awe at Jungkook, before grinning.

"Hello," he replied softly, Bonnie giggled as he quickly lifted her up into his arms then paying his attention to the two males staring admiringly and Yoongi seemed to catch the looks too, fake gagging and that made the shorter of the two glare at him.

"I'm Kim Seokjin," he gestured to himself, "but you can call me Jin". He then pointed to the man opposite of the counter who was still smiling at him, his dimples evident. It wasn't a creepy stare or smile, it was welcoming and kind of soothing. "This is my husband, Kim Namjoon, he doesn't really have a nickname so you can decide one for him," he beamed and Namjoon chuckled in response.

 _Husband?_ Jungkook's heart started to pump faster, as if some part of him liked the idea of that then another part him was confused and thrilled.

"I'm Jeon Jungkook," he greeted back although he was partially sure they already knew of his existence by how they acted.

"It's nice to meet you, Jungkook, make yourself at home dear," Seokjin gesture for him sit and he did, he sat beside Yoongi, placing the baby on his lap. "Are you hungry?" he asked now and Jungkook nodded his head shyly.

Namjoon smiled wide now, going over to the stove, grabbing a plate and placing pancakes on the glass. "I'm glad you are hungry, 'cause I make the best chocolate pancakes," he bragged. Jungkook turned to Yoongi who snickered.

"You can only make chocolate pancakes, fool," Yoongi rolled his eyes, grinning as the older male snapped his head towards him .

"At least I can make pancakes, how's instant noodles going for you?" Namjoon shot back and Jungkook smiled slightly.

"I don't need to be able to cook, Seokjin feeds us all," he counter attacked now. Said man turned away from the cup of tea he was pouring for his house guest to throw a scowl at Yoongi.

"How are you going to survive when you move out of this place? I fear for Bonnie's health." Seokjin sighed deeply placing the mug down in front of the teenager after Namjoon gave him the pancake filled plate. Jungkook picked up his fork hesitantly and stabbed into the meal, cutting a piece of the brown, fluffy food before stuffing it into his mouth. it taste really good in Jungkook's opinion, Namjoon wasn't as bad a cook Yoongi was making him out to be.

"I like it," he told the older male before putting more into his mouth immediately. Namjoon crossed his arms in triumph, smirking at his bestfriend.

"See, baby, you're an amazing cook. Yoongi's just salty," Seokjin giggled out, wrapping his arms around his waist before pecking his cheek.

"Ugh. I'm getting out of here before this escalates," Yoongi gagged once more mockingly, placing Bonnie onto his hip to walk out of the kitchen. He moved on his heel to stare at the young adult in realization, "Jungkook, just call for me when you're ready to go home. I'll be upstairs washing my baby girl's eyes from the horrid scene you have forced upon her," and with that, the young dad left. The two men laughed out loud, sighing afterwards before moving around the kitchen again.

"This is our family, Jungkook. We're not perfect but we're quite alright. If I say so myself." Seokjin smiled warmly at him before turning away to wipe off the island top, Namjoon humming in agreement.

Jungkook felt his heart tug at that statement, because he wasn't perfect either, he was alright for a boy with many problems. He liked this small, humorous family. He liked the coziness of this home. He liked the framed pictures hanging neatly on the walls. He liked the real, genuine emotions they showcased for one another. He liked them. There was this small glimmer of hope in him that someday, he would be apart of this family.

\--

After getting the ride home from Yoongi around 1:00 PM and exchanging phone numbers, Jungkook hopped out the vehicle, old clothes and wig inside his backpack. He would have stayed longer if it wasn't for his homeschooling that needed to completed before 5PM. The Kim's were very welcoming and even sat down and chatted with him for a while, he usually wouldn't have said more than needed, but he opened up to the couple so easily. They asked about his favourite things and never questioned his personal life, which he was very grateful for.

He didn't bother to watch Yoongi drive away, he figured he'd do just well without him staring the back of his car down. Entering his house, he moved across the foyer into the corridor.

"Baby," a soft voice approached him from behind and he twisted around to face the figure. It was his mother, still dressed in a long sleeve sweater and baggy sweatpants, her hair up in a messy ponytail.

"Hey, Ma." Jungkook lifted up his mouth, trying to show a expression of content. She walked closer with a small smile tugged on her own face, he blushed some when she reached up to brush away his fringe.

"Ah, you look so handsome," she squeaked slightly, cupping his face, as if it's been ages since she saw him. He felt bad for her, she was seeing this new-yet-old him as progress. Jungkook wasn't progressing in the slightest, he didn't know what came over him that made him drop the female facade. Yoongi just shook him up a bit, handed him clothes and the reassuring smile on his features told him to. Yoongi told him to, that's why. That worried him.

"T-thanks, Ma. Really." He whispered, snuggling his cheeks into her warmth. He missed this kind of contact with his mother, although it never left, he just hadn't ever felt it. Her touch was distinctive now, the foundation and concealer not pressing further into his skin. When she pulled away, her hands were clean, not smeared with the cheap makeup he'd purchase. That felt really good.

"Did you enjoy it at your friends house?" she asked Jungkook, leaning against the wall a bit, head tilted.

"Yes," he answered truthfully, "I had a nice time. It felt great to get out of the house and socialize with others." He admitted.

She nodded along happily to his statement, "good. I wouldn't mind if you'd like to do it more often." Jungkook did a soft 'yeah', glad he didn't have to tell her that his new found friends were a father, his baby, and a married gay couple. He wouldn't know how his mother would take such information, not in a negative way, but in bewilderment and thinking her son had such an weird taste in friends.

"Well," Jungkook shifted in his beat-up converse, "I should go and do my assignments before the deadline." His mom understood such an excuse and hummed.

"Right. Go do your work, kiddo, we'll talk more about your day later, if you'd like to." Jungkook nodded again, the words _if you'd like_ has always been his mother's way of not pressuring him into things. She never yelled or disagreed and disapproved with anything he'd did. Sometimes he wish she'd take control, because giving the young teenager an option on what he wants or not want to do just made him step further away from anything that could help him 'progress'. He'd purposely not do certain stuff that he knew his mother would like for him to do, but she gave him an option and he'd use that as an advantage to get out of things he never wants to do.

Kissing his mother on the cheek, he walked further down the ranch house and to his room at the end of the hall. Closing the door softly behind him, Jungkook dropped his backpack onto the floor beside him with a grunt. Looking around his bedroom, it wasn't very decorated, having just moved into two years ago, he never bothered with decorating it. A twin bed in the corner against the window, dressers across the way, a flat screen TV settled on top of the wood, a desk near the window, his laptop and Bluetooth devices neatly beside it. He rubbed at his face, tired, though he yawned through it and sat down in his swivel chair, opening the blue top of his computer before logging in and opening up a word document.

_**Greek mythology; Odysseus and the Trojan War** _

Then he was off, typing up paragraphs to summarize the rumored Greek history and personal opinions that weren't so personal but things a online literature teacher may want to read. After coming up with five pretty convincing paragraphs for his essay, he saved the file and created a new one, this one titled differently.

_**May 23rd, 2017: Therapy Entry.** _

Jungkook tapped at his keyboard, typing up full words just to do away with them. He rubbed at his head, thinking as he watched the thin line beside the 'Entry' blink. He licked his lips before sighing softly, tapping once more, fingers moving with such ease watching letters move across the screen, making up words he wrote many times before.

_**"I feel fine. I'm eating all my meals, keeping up my hygiene and listening to my mother's suggestions..."** _

He wrote up, biting his lip in reluctance, unsure about the words ready to flow from his thoughts into the white sheet of computer generated paper. All so new and filled with unexpected change.

_**"...I am no longer wearing makeup and feminine outfits. I explored outside of my comfort zone, meeting three I hope to be, friends. From 0 to 10 on the scale of despair to content, I am a 6, 6 and half."** _

He stared at the bright screen thoughtfully wondering if he should add more, add to why his previous number, 3, sky rocketed to a 6 and a half, four numbers away from the content ten. Yet, he himself didn't really have an answer to it, he just felt okay at the time, certain that his number would drop within he next 24 hours, so he left the reason for such progress (progress. Why was he giving everyone such false hope?) unanswered. Saving the entry, he dropped it into his email, sending it off to his therapist and his essay to his teacher 15 mintues before 5PM.

Closing down the laptop, Jungkook padded across the room to his bed where he laid down, knees at his chest while he gradually scrolled through his phone. Just a few months ago, after two whole years, Jungkook was given two new electronics. His iPhone and his television, his laptop used to be his mother's before it became his when she was warily shoving the things into his arms or setting it up in his room. Jungkook's therapist found him well enough to own such things again, no longer afraid that social media and TV shows would corrupt him and throw him into a deeper hole of depression and trauma. His mother was nervous for such change, afraid that he'd lock himself away in his room, with such low self-esteem, he'd become fearful of what the world thought of him and desperately try to reach online strangers status of a perfect Korean boy (girl at the time.) It was quite the opposite, however. Jungkook didn't own any social media accounts or went on any of his old ones. He just watched YouTube and read online books, sometimes playing games from the App Store. He didn't really care for what he was missing in life, all the trends he had yet to discover. He was fine without knowing about any of it, that's one thing he and his mother could both agree on.

The jingle that escape his phone threw Jungkook off, he didn't see any YouTube or game notifications pop up at the top of his screen. He squinted as he pulled down his notification bar, seeing the green icon for the messaging app. This was different, he hadn't recognized the number as his mother's or therapist, though it seemed familiar. He tapped on it.

 **+82-4562-4663**  
_Hey, is it okay if I take you somewhere tonight?_  
**5:23 PM**.

He read it slowly, eyes cutting at the question, his heart picking up from the message. Someone must have gotten the wrong number, because this was so strange and this number right off the bat asked permission to take him somewhere. He rattled his mind for any idea of who this could be, about to settle on a stranger with the wrong phone number until dots started to show at the bottom of the chat, indicating someone was typing.

**+82-4562-4663**  
_It's part one of the healing stage. I'll explain to you in the car later, if you are able to come, that is_ _._  
_**5:25 PM**._

"Healing stage?" The young boy muttered to himself, gasping when it all came back to him. This was Yoongi's number, he hadn't saved it in his contacts when he gotten it. Jungkook sat up now, his fingers hovering over the contact.

**+82-4562-4663 IS NOW YOONGI-HYUNG.**

**You**  
_Sure. I can come, what time?_  
**5:32 PM.**

Jungkook knew he would have to ask his mother to get official permission, though he didn't think that would be a problem. She wanted him to meet new people and hang out past hours, doing teenage stuff. Plus, he'd be out past hours, doing appropriate stuff with the young father, she'd have nothing to be so worrisome about. His mother trusted him a lot more than she did a year ago where he walking to the store would nearly give her a heart attack. Now, he could stroll to Busan and just a text of his whereabouts would soothe her and she'd be alright with it. Such an reaction came with the 'let Jungkook make his own choices' era that she came out of nowhere with, probably heavily influenced by his therapist.

**Yoongi-Hyung**

_Is 6:00 o'clock alright? I don't want to have you out too late._  
**5:33 PM**

**You**  
_Yes, that's alright. See you then?_  
**5:33 PM**

**Yoongi-Hyung**

_See you then._  
**5:34 PM**

Jungkook messed with his fringe, staring up at his ceiling, he had to get ready. He stood at his closest, pushing away the dresses, skirts and shirts to see his old collection of clothes. They were so bland compared to the clothing up front, they weren't colourful. Kookie liked pastel colours and hanging shoulder sleeves, Junkook liked black shirts and vans. He wasn't Kookie anymore. Jungkook took up the bright clothing by their hangers, dumping them in his dirty clothes hamper.

"Ma," Jungkook called out when he exited his bedroom and walked into the living room where his mother was laying on the sofa opposite of the television, volume low as her eyes trailed a book in her hands.

"Yes, honey?" She replied back, staring up at him gently. He could tell she loved the grey shirt, thin jacket, faded jeans, and grey vans he was wearing. Kookie and her never agreed on clothing because his mother wasn't a classy woman, she preferred comfy over fashionable. Jungkook and her always saw eye to eye when it came to attire, he was glad for once that she didn't pick at his shirt, complaining about how small it was on him.

"Could I go with a friend tonight? He said he'd bring me back before curfew, we won't be out late." She tilted her in pretend thought, answer already at the tip of her tongue.

"Sure thing, sweetie," she smiled, standing to fix his jacket. Zipping up its zipper before placing the hoodie over his head. She ached to do that, Jungkook knew so, he had let her too, because he missed such tradition. "It's cold out, stay warm," was her excuse.

"Yeah, okay I will." Jungkook nodded along to her orders while she backed away, fixing her hair behind her ear continuing to admire him. "We'll," she trailed off, not knowing if it was too soon to say, but the glance he gave her was a way to tell her to go on. "We'll go shopping for more clothes tomorrow, update your woredrob, only if you'd want-"

"I'd really love to do that, Ma," Jungkook talked over her, shrugging. She nodded her head, smiling more now. Jungkook wanted to make her happy, and he knew him going shopping for masculine clothes would really lighten her mood. He could tell she wanted this day, to have her baby boy back, no matter how closed off and reserved he was. She supported him as Kookie regardless of how much she quietly opposed. Now, he wanted her to know that her baby boy was back for now on, that he wasn't going anywhere, all thanks to the bottled blonde with the cute baby.

A knock at the door drifted them away from the quiet, comfort the two had around them. His mother looked away from him, hiding her bubbling excitement in the form of a cough to clear her throat.

"That must be your friend, let's go greet him," she smiled brightly and Jungkook quickly followed along. He watched his mother stand on her tiptoes to view out of the peep hole, stepping back. After fixing her hair and cardigan (which Jungkook thought was not needed because he thought she was just fine), she opened the door.

"Hello, Dear, you must be Jungkook's friend." Yoongi lifted his head from the door mat and revealed a small smile, taking his hands from his pocket to shake hers.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Min Yoongi." Yoongi glanced over Jungkook's mother to give him a slight nod, Jungkook eyed him softly, looking away feeling incoming jitters.

"I'm Jung Eunji," Eunji replied back with enthusiasm.

Yoongi returned his arm to his side, leaning on one foot. "Please do not worry- I will have him back before 10:30- maybe even earlier than that."

Eunji laughed, throwing her hand as if to say 'don't worry', adding to motion, saying: "trust me, I'm not," lies. Jungkook could hear it in her voice, or maybe it was her way of not trying not to cry at the sudden way Jungkook was no longer Kookie and now he was making friends.

Jungkook stepped in front Eunji, wanting to get whatever Yoongi had planned done with, though he was really curious about what 'healing process' he had in mind. "Well, Ma, we'd better be going now if we want to come home at decent time." He tugged on Yoongi's sleeve slightly, stepping over the threshold, Yoongi turned a bit to wave a farewell to Eunji who said a small 'be safe, darlings!'.

Jungkook jumped into the passenger seat the moment they were near the vehicle, Yoongi in the drivers seat. After buckling their seat belts, Yoongi put the car in reverse and headed for the city.

The teen placed the side of his head onto the window, letting the vibrations calm him.

"So, The Healing Stage." Yoongi voiced over the low radio music, twisting the knob of the device to turn it down even more. Jungkook moved his neck slightly, watching.

"Hm," he hummed, to show he was listening.

"There are five stages of this process," Yoongi briefly looked to Jungkook for a split second then kept his eyes back to the road in front of him. "Tonight we're doing the first stage needed to move on to the others," he explained. Jungkook sighed.

"What makes you so certain your 'five stages of healing' will help me?" He asked now, watching the blurs of street lights intently onto they were zoomed past and out of sight.

"I'm not." Yoongi answered honestly, shrugging his shoulders. "It's worth a shot, though." Jungkook was taken aback by his reply, it was so blunt and he felt somewhat like an laboratory experiment.

"Did you even do your research?"

"Briefly, yes. Don't worry, everything I'm going to do wouldn't be happening if I didn't have at least some knowledge in..."he trailed off.

"Sexual abuse," Jungkook finished for him, "you can say it, y'know? It's not like a trigger word or anything."

Yoongi nodded along, "right. I didn't know."

"Thanks, anyways," Jungkook whispered, Yoongi tilted his head in confusion. "For being cautious."

"Yeah, no problem."

__

The young father parked his Toyota Camry in an empty parking lot of a run down Seven Eleven. Jungkook glanced around the car, frightened.

"Relax, kid." Yoongi chuckled amused at the young adult's reaction to the area. He did so slowly, slumping his shoulders, watching the bottled blond take his key out of the ignition. Yoongi opened his door slightly, turning over his shoulder to look at Jungkook. "Let's go," he gesture to the passenger door before furthering his motion to exit the car. Jungkook did the same reluctantly.

Tucking his hands into his jacket pockets, he trailed to the back of the car like Yoongi, stopping when Yoongi stood in front of the trunk. He warily watched as he pressed a button on his car keys, the tail lights of the car flickered to life briefly, two high pitched beeps sounding as well. He stood back a reasonable amount to be able to run if Yoongi was hiding something inappropriate. Jungkook tilted his head in curiosity even so, watching Yoongi lift the trunks top, digging into the items within it. Soon, he stepped back and swung around to face Jungkook with the material in hand. Throwing two of the items towards him, Jungkook quickly caught them to avoid being hit.

"A baseball bat and spray paint?" Jungkook questioned, hitting the ground lightly with the pale green metal.

"Yes. These will be mandatory for what we are about to do," Yoongi confirmed, slamming the trunk closed.

"And that is?" Jungkook pressed.

"We're going to be destroying things!" Yoongi beamed like a child, throwing up his own bat and catching it when it came down.

"W-wait, isn't that illegal? We can't vandalize," Jungkook followed Yoongi to the Seven Eleven's closed glass doors. Yoongi puffed up his cheeks, seeing that the doors were locked then looking around on the ground, completely ignoring Jungkook's whine.

"Hyung," Jungkook was about to knock some sense into the man but flinched and shield himself from glass shattering everywhere. Yoongi broke one of the doors with a rock. Unlocking them when all the shards hit the ground.

"Are you crazy?!" Jungkook exclaimed, kicking at the clear derbis before entering the convenience store.

"Chill," Yoongi smirked cockily, jumping over the counter to flick on the lights. It didn't occur to Jungkook how well Yoongi knew this place.

"Chill? Chill?!" The boy waved his arms around, "How could I possibly chill when we just broke into a Seven Eleven and now you're exposing us by turning on the fucking lights? Do you not want to see your Daughter ever again?"

The dad came back now, leaning his elbows over the counter, taking a look at the cigarette boxes and lighters along with other things behind him. He picked up a box and opened it, glaring down at the content in disgust, dumping the sticks onto the counter.

"Hyung!" Jungkook whined.

"What? Do you want a lollipop?" Yoongi asked, taking a lighter from a mini case, and lighting one of the nicotine filled rolls.

"Um, no?" Jungkook scrunched up his face.

Yoongi eyed the cancer stick, flicking at the ash at the butt of it. Not even taking a puff from it, he put it out. "Good. All this stuff is probably expired by now, maybe not the scratch off cards, though. You can take on of those if you'd like," Yoongi mumbled, dumping the 10 sticks in front of him in the trash near by then placing his chin in his palm while he continued to stare nonchalantly at Jungkook.

Jungkook clenched his fist, just about fed up with Yoongi's careless behaviour. Yoongi seemed to realise this and held his hands up in defense, laughing.

"I'm just kidding around," he took the proper way around the counter this time. "This place used to belong to my uncle, he owns a lot of Seven Eleven's in the Seoul and Daegu areas. He closed this one down about eight months ago because the population around this area is pretty low. So I met up with him today saying that I'd planned on doing a 'social experiment' in here, he agreed. And now this place is ours. Well, until the Japanese couple comes and changes it into a small sushi place."

Jungkook seemed to have relaxed greatly, enough to lean over on of the shelf's. "Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you threw a rock into the door."

Yoongi smiled sheepishly, "forgot the keys."

Jungkook sucked his teeth at the man's forgetfulness, taking a close and more comfortable look around the place.

"Didn't it add to the suspense, though? C'mon, I could win an Oscar with my acting skills."

"Whatever," Jungkook clicked his tongue, picking up the bat he sat down against a case of Pepsi bottles. "Why do we need to destroy things anyways? What good would that do me?" He questioned, squinting at the freezers filled with dairy products, minding to stay away from those containers to avoid stinking up the place.

"Lots, actually," Yoongi claimed, flicking his wrist to shake up a yellow can of spray paint. "Stage one of The Healing Stage is to let go of built up anger, worries, fears, and whatever's been concerning you. Instead of taking it out on your family and friends, take it out on lifeless objects. Kind of like a stress ball."

"Still not getting it."

"Don't you have some emotions you want to let out in the form of distruction?" The blond questioned, now shaking up a red and blue can at the same time.

"I don't know." Jungkook muttered, watching Yoongi stand up from sitting on a soda case. "Will it really make me feel better?"

"You'd feel more lighter in a way, watch," Yoongi picked up the black spray paint and headed for one of the shelves, pushing all the expired junk food to the floor and then started to swiftly move about the shelf, writing in large letters. Jungkook stared intently making out each letter until it was completely a word.

**R-E-G-R-E-T-S**

"Now you try, pick a colour. Something that represents how you feel."

Jungkook nodded, stepping over the things scattered across the floor, reaching for a purple spray can. He then moved to a shelf beside Yoongi's placing the cans of microwavable food onto the ground, shaking the can, he let the the midnight colours paint his emotions.

**N-U-M-B.**

"Okay," Yoongi inspected the scribble like it was a painting with abstract art. Jungkook eyed him while he moved around, looking at the word in different aspects. Jungkook felt like he was being graded on a test, certain he'll get below a C, maybe a barely passing D.

"Show me how you feel numb," was his response after a few minutes of him staring at the letters.

"You... you can't show numbness," Jungkook replied softly, weakly.  
"What do you mean?"

"You can show anger, happiness and sadness but it's impossible to show numbness." He glanced up at his own creation, the wet paint dripping.

"Show me in a different way, then," Yoongi tried to reason.

"I don't think I'm able to."

"No, Jungkook." Yoongi stood near the boy, "You are, find some alternative way. You think you can't, but with all the shit you went through, there's something within you. Show me it," he looked into the dark eyes of the other, pressing the bat into Jungkook's stomach, "Show me it." He repeated.

He slowly took the metal into his grasp, Yoongi disappearing from his eye sight somewhere on his left. He rose the bat over his shoulder like a baseball player, getting in position to hit the ball out of the park. Using all his strength, he swung. Jungkook gasped out as bags exploded, chips flying everywhere.

"What did you feel?" Yoongi piped up from beside him now, his boots crunching under the Lays and Cheetos.

"I didn't feel, I thought." Jungkook corrected.

"Think some more," Yoongi insisted, taking up his own bat, he wasted no time. He ran up to one of the freezers and broke the glass without a second thought. Gatorade bottles rolling     everywhere, some leaking it's liquid.

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, breathing hard, his body heat firing up.

_"You're a little bitch, you know that? Now do what you were made to do, pussy boy."_

He screamed out as he took a swing at some canned goods, their juices and contents bursting out, he turned around and readied his position.

_"Don't tell me where the fuck I can't touch you, I'll touch you where ever I want."_

Jungkook hit the soda cans off their displays, minority of them fizzing out while others were left dented.

_"Even your own father would disown you if he found out you're a fucking toy. He's barely around as it is, would you want him to leave you completely?"_

Smash.

_"You're funny, Jungkook, you know that? You think you can actually get a date with your overused body? I was planning on getting rid of you myself but you're too easy to bitch around."_

Bang.

_"Maybe you should become a prostitute instead, all you're good for is sucking dick. You could never become anything with your trash grades."_

Swing.

_"Damn, your mother is so fucking dumb, why do you I even stay here? You're a faggot who can't even enjoy the pleasure I give you when nobody else will and she's a fucking bitch who complains too goddamn much. I'm the man of this house! You hear? I don't have to do shit around this house but work, rest, and fuck you and your mother brainless!"_

"Fuck off!" Jungkook yelled, tomato sauce splattered across the wall opposite of him, baseball bat now scratched up and and covered in dried up food stains. He headed for the front counter, banging the wood repeatedly, watching it's pieces fly everywhere.

Jungkook threw all the cigarette boxes to the ground, damning the nicotine that once filled his room after everyday horrible night. Smashing them until they were crimped and he was certain the sticks were not smokable. Now he spun around, seeing the damage Yoongi equally caused, the freezers were shattered, the goods once making home there were becoming more rotten, shelf's were pushed over, cookies and candy certainly mushed on impact. He turned the other direction now seeing Yoongi, his bat was no longer in hand, but now he was spray painting, Jungkook read the sentence.

**Call me a fuck-up, call me a disappointment, but never call me a terrible father.**

Jungkook tilted his head at the neatly wrote hangul, he too then picked up up a spray can, orange this time, and started to write on the walls of the store.

**I do have an emotion: anger. I will achieve. I will be strong. I'll beat your expectations for me, for my mother.**

When he faced Yoongi again, his eyes moved to read the words he also wrote. They both were panting heavily, sweat falling from their foreheads and food stains embedded into their clothing, they started to laugh. Yoongi strolled up to the young adult, sliding down the wall into a sitting position, Jungkook sat beside him.

"Wow. You wrecked this place," Yoongi breathed out with an airy chuckle. Jungkook mumbled shyly, turning to look at the cold food section of the store, glass shards and beverages everywhere.

"Hyung, you did some damage yourself, what was all that about?" Jungkook teased back.

"What? I said but some emotion into it."

"No, Hyung," Jungkook said. "The writing on the wall, that shows it wasn't all about emotions. Who told you weren't a good father?"

Yoongi licked his lips, looking away from the boy. Jungkook didn't want Yoongi to be put in an uncomfortable situation because of him, he hadn't realised how inconsiderate he must've sounded.  He opened his mouth to speak but Yoongi beat him to it.

"You comfortable, kid?"

"Yeah- I mean-- I guess so."

Yoongi smirked a little, bleached strands falling into his face, resting there perfectly. Just like this morning, Jungkook seemed to take notice. "Well, I have a story to tell."

Jungkook pulled his knees up into his stomach, laying his chin down in his hand, ready to listen.

"For about three years, me and my ex girlfriend were dating. I loved her, a lot, but into our third year of dating, she started to take pills. The pills were for depression, but she started to take more than she needed and on top of that other prescriptions." Yoongi spoke quietly, staring out of the glass windows. Jungkook turned to look too, their reflections staring back at them.

"Last year, in my junior year of college, she her sophomore year. She told me she was five months pregnant, and I just felt really dumb," he laughed weakly, "because how could I have not noticed. I felt even more stupid when I was informed because she was taking pills, pills you shouldn't be taking while pregnant." Jungkook winced at the last sentence, he could hear the despair in his Hyung's tone.

"I told her to stop doing the pills, she told me had. She lied, though. She nearly overdosed in her seventh month of pregnancy. Gosh, I nearly lost her, lost Bonnie. Because of that, she was rehabbed and gave birth to Bonnie in August. She left her there, at the hospital, the nurses said she asked for a cup of water and just vanished when they came back with it."

"My mother was so furious with me, saying 'how could you get her pregnant?' 'What about your schooling?' 'She was crazy, Yoongi, crazy! Yet you never listen to me.' She was planning on placing Bonnie up for adoption, Bonnie is my baby too, so I didn't go through with it. I moved out of my parents house and now I'm  with Seokjin and Namjoon, dropped out of college and started working at multiple jobs." Yoongi wiped his eyes a bit, Jungkook watched gently, stunned when Yoongi twisted his body to stare at him, nose becoming slight red, smiling through his visible pain.

"But you know what?" 

"What?"

"I don't regret a single decision I made." Yoongi sniffed, glancing at the now dried 'regrets' on the shelf tumbled to the floor. "My only regret is not seeing her pain, for not seeing her worries. She left me, she abandoned our baby. And I regret that deeply."

"That wasn't your fault," Jungkook comforted him quietly.

"I know, I just feel like I could've done something more. I don't feel like I tried hard enough for her."

"I think you did everything you could have, it was her decision. You continue to do more than your abilities, it's not easy being a single dad who's constantly being put down by their parents," Jungkook spoke up, glancing at Yoongi through his eyelashes. "In fact, your parents don't give you enough credit. My mother would be proud of me for not walking out on a little being that needs me, of course she'll be upset with the choose of me not using protection." They laughed. "But she'll get over it and see the bright side of it. Your mother doesn't understand she raised a great son, she's just stuck up in the olden days."

Yoongi nodded slow, in thought. He went to reach for Jungkook's shoulder, but paused. He sat his palm close to the teens hand instead.

"We'll be strong together, yeah?" Jungkook voiced through the quiet.

"Yeah."

Yoongi smiled this time, messing with his earring to hide his flustered. Jungkook hummed out, jumping to his feet watching as Yoongi repeated his action. They looked around the place, now trashed and more run down than before. All their feelings created such mess, and they planned to leave those feelings and thoughts right here. The writing on the wall, their mottos. Yoongi nodded at Jungkook, backing away and making his way to the stores doubled doors. Jungkook took one last glance around the place and then he sped walked to catch up with the young father.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said before, sorry for the late update! New to the story? Welcome!


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